I’m cancelling my gym membership. It may seem counterintuitive, especially for someone who lives within 10 minutes from 2 different gym locations and works 10 minutes from another, someone who is overweight, someone who has been working on increasing their level of physical activity for months now. But I’m doing it.

We hear, seemingly all the time, about those who join the gym on January 2nd, motivated by their New Year’s resolutions— “THIS is the year I finally get back in shape.” And then, by mid-February, the majority of that crowd is gone. Perhaps I’m talking to you.

Don’t worry, that’s been me, too. Believe me, I’ve fallen into the trap time and time again. The calendar turns, there are the promotions and offers and great deals, and months later, I’m left with a tag that would collect dust were it not on the keychain I use every day, and feelings of frustration and self-deprecation about my inability to be more disciplined. I am, after all, paying $20 a month to feel this way, and what a treat that is…

It’s time to stop the charade and to be direct and honest with myself. I don’t have, and won’t make the time or take the effort to get myself to the gym any time soon. No matter how much I may want to, or wish to, I know myself well enough to know this. I know that not only is there a difference between what we want and what we need, but there’s the added factor of what we are capable of doing and not capable of doing.

Do I want to get myself back to the gym? Sure. There’s a love-hate element to it, but for all intents and purposes, sure.

Do I need to get myself into better physical condition? Absolutely. Living my new dad life requires more energy, and I’m sure my body needs exercise more than it needs me shoving animal crackers into my mouth while sitting on the couch watching Elmo.

Am I capable of taking the time out of my day to change (5 minutes), drive to the gym (10 minutes), work out for 45 minutes to an hour, driving home (10 minutes) and showering (5 minutes)? Technically, yes. Yes, I could. We can all make changes to our routines that allow for these kinds of things.

But mentally, am I there right now?

No. No I am not.

For many of us, there’s more that goes into it than “just make the time.” It seems so simple and straightforward, but if it was truly that easy for some of us then many of us wouldn’t fizzle out of our New Year’s resolution gym routines in mid-February. There is, for sure, a mental component to it, those psychological hurdles that continue to get in our way and trip us up.

When Sean talked about overcoming those roadblocks, he mentioned two things: hard work and loving what you do. It could be that the love-hate relationship I have with the gym is a little more hate than love at the moment and that’s why I’ve put off going for months now. Whatever the reason, the fact is that right now, I’m not capable of willing myself to get to the gym.

Will that change in the future? I think so. My goal is to have a home gym space that eliminates the need for monthly memberships and that 10-minute drive that might as well be a 10-hour drive, the way my brain seems to avoid wanting to do it. But again, right now, in this moment, that’s not where I’m at.

And so, I’m cancelling my gym membership— for now. Not because I don’t want to work out, not because I don’t want to get myself into better shape. I’m cancelling because I’m not there yet. I’m not in a place where I can take 90 minutes out of my day job. I’m not in a place where I want to spend 90 less minutes with my wife and child. I’m not in a place where I can physically afford to forego 90 minutes of precious sleep. And, because I am in those places, I’m not in a place where I can financially justify giving away $20 a month to feel guilty for not something that I’m just not ready to re-introduce to my life in that way just yet.

I am, however, in a place where I can multitask and combine exercise with some of those other things. One of the great perks of my job is that I’m able to consult with a fitness consultant and wellness dietitian, who have helped me realize something that I’ll pass along to you for free: when your life gets crazy and priorities change, it helps to find ways to incorporate a “two birds with one stone” approach to your daily tasks. In my case, I’m operating under a “4 birds, all the birds, as many birds as possible with one stone” mentality, and while it’s sometimes chaotic, I’m finding little ways to make it work.

I’ve figured out that I can 1) give my wife a break, 2) spend time with my kid, 3) walk the dog, and 4) get my exercise in, all by taking 1-2 30- to 60-minute walks a day, one before work and one after. I’ve also come to the realization that I need to eat better (again/still). No, that eating better doesn’t add exercise to my routine, but in the times when we find we can’t address both nutrition and fitness, eating right can offset at least some of the effects of an under-active lifestyle.

And, last but not least, I’m working on being more mindful, self-aware, and realistic with myself. Regardless of what you might want to be doing, knowing when to admit when you’re not quite there yet is still highly valuable. You don’t have to toss the goal entirely just because you can’t achieve it yet. You just have to chip away at it like Andy Dufresne did to his cell wall in The Shawshank Redemption. In time, you can get to where you want to be, and when you do, it will feel so freeing.

So, I’m done beating myself up over missing yet another gym day, or for letting another month go by without getting a single cent’s worth of value out of my “bargain” membership. Instead, I’m cancelling my gym membership. If and when I’m ready to go back, the gym will be there, but the truth is, I’m not there yet.

It’s self-preservation. It’s financial responsibility. It’s an adjustment, a work in progress. It’s realizing that a short-term goal is actually more of a long-term one, and accepting that’s your reality. It’s not “goodbye,” it’s more of a “see you later.”

See you later, gym.

What goals have you struggled to reach lately? What in your life is stopping you from getting there? Do your goals need some adjusting?
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Health Perspectives