The Shirt

The other night I walked outside with no shirt on. To some of you this isn’t a big deal, but to me its was the only time I had been without a shirt since 1993. Strange you ask? Well let me tell you about it.

I was 12 years old. My dad and I were at a stadium to see Pearl Jam, the first big concert that I had ever been to. My dad didn’t have tickets but said that we would find our way in.

We walked around the stadium for a while then he wandered off and came back with someone from the cleaning crew. He handed the guy an envelope, then told me to take my shirt off and put one of the cleaning guys’ shirts on. I did, and I got through just fine. Once inside, the guy turned to me and said, “OK kid, I need the shirt to get your dad in.”

I had never been more terrified in my life.

I have always been a big guy but from what I remember I was this shirtless kid, covering up and cowering in the corner as all these huge giants walked past me. I’m pretty sure some of them had clown faces and it pretty much felt like if you combined the clown scene from Pee-Wee and the phsycadelic scene from Dumbo. Thats what I was going through.

via Giphy

Now that I think about it, I’m pretty sure I was having a panic attack. It felt like an eternity till my dad came back, and for a while, I started thinking, could a 12-year-old boy live in a stadium? How would I gather food for my new life as a stadium dweller? 

Long story short, my dad came back and I was forced to be uncomfortable in an extreme situation. I had always swum with a shirt on and changed in the bathroom for Phys. Ed. in school, and I never really found a time where I needed to be without a shirt. But the other night, I wanted to feel what the fresh air was like on my bare chest.

It was truly liberating.

via Giphy

You might be reacting this similar to something in your life that you have never done when it comes to your body. Whether you’re a male or female, some of us may have never worn a certain sort of clothes because of some body image issues. I say, just do it! Try it once. Do something that scares you or something you’ve been putting off.

One day you may not be here, and I hate to sound cliche with this “life is fleeting” mentality, but it’s becoming more and more apparent to me. There may not be the “light at the end of the tunnel.” Maybe there is no “happy ending.” Or maybe everything is gonna be OK.

We are in charge of that. We are the ones that can make things OK, and we are ultimately in charge of our own destiny. For me, this is just a start walking outside with no shirt, and next week who knows?! The world is our oyster.

As always,
Be well, be happy, be kind, be loved.
-Sam

What is something you’d like to do but have been too scared to try yet?
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